


Falling back

by AMinuteToBreath



Category: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But whatever, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Happy Ending, I swear, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Me trying to make a story in english from a japanese game, Oops, Out of Character, Overblot, Overblot mention i guess, Panic Attacks, Probably exaggerating overblot like a lot, Vomiting, also: me in a quest trying to tag, because angst, holy shit did i do this, just a little bit, my teacher would murder me with this spelling, probably forgot a tag, riddle is lovable, riddle-centric, said fuck and many more, spelling what is that?, totally not a vent fic, treating overblot more seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:55:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24449947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMinuteToBreath/pseuds/AMinuteToBreath
Summary: "Because no matter what he does know, everyone know what he did then"Sometimes falling apart once again is more painful than to never realise you were broken at all.
Relationships: None, cero, nel - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> holy FUCK this turned WAY TOO LONGER WTF IT SUDDENLY TURNED INTO SO MUCH VENT I AM SORRY RIDDLE AND READER.

_For she is the Queen of Hearts and all the heads are in her path..._

He could have never been able to describe the feeling of going into the state of overblot correctly, even if somebody like Trey would have mentioned it. Riddle could only remember how suddenly everything became too much, he felt so angry, so goddamn angry that he felt lightheaded, a voice in the back of his head just whispering the words his dear mother would ~~yell~~ tell him everyday. 

_You must follow the rules Riddle, the rules keep you safe and healthy. The rules are the truth._

It wasn't fair, couldn't they see how the rules where the things that were keeping them alive? He was only trying to protect them like his mother had done to him.

The voice kept whispering things, sounding more brutal and aggressive and out of control just every second but at the same time it all sounded so sweet. Promises of power that he could use to protect, control that he would have so they wouldn't have to worry anymore about it. Maybe, now that he is more clear about his past, he was only trying to protect them from his own mother, or maybe he was just trying to pass that as an infection.

Still people in his dorm said they were willing to give him another chance. Just another chance to change. But isn't that too frail? Even though all of the students said that they would give him another chance he had grown used to detecting the lies in the eyes of the people, he knew that even though they tried to make it seem as normal as possible he saw the fear, he saw the rage. But he was oh so tired that he only left it be without a word. He was bound to change, he will be able to change.

_And even after all she had done in order to maintain peace in her wonderful land of madness everyone still preferred to see only the blood that painted her hands._

It was a beautiful day outside, everything seemed just so perfect to take tea and rest. Everything was improving, everything seemed nice and he left better with himself each day. He had friends now, friends who would tell him if he was being to harsh to someone. Friends, true friends. So he tried to be the best, to be condescend and forget the rules. He was too evil whenever he threatened some students who had done mischief. He was too evil when he tried to tell the rule of never speaking to the Queen (dorm head) when he was in the right. The rules were what made him evil, and he didn't know what was the type of rules he needed to impose.

Riddle was walking through the corridors of the dorm, just about to head outside and enjoy tea time and some delicious pastry. It was such a nice day. Was. He came to a halt as a large crash sounded, the sound lasting for a few more moments along with someone's scream.

**How could you! You skipped out on studying to go outside and eat a mound of sugar!**

Riddle suppressed the shiver, i was not the time for remembering bad memories for godsake. He quickly followed where he believed the sound had come from only to find that his perfect morning had been ruined. The main room of the dorm was a complete and utter disaster, extremely bright YELLOW and BLUE paint of all colors painted the walls and most of the furniture, the motherfucking porcelain was destroyed in pieces on the floor and every fucking THING WAS DESTROYEDANDEVERYTHINGWASHORRIBLE. And in the middle of that were two students. They looked so fucking unapologetic, they looked proud at the destruction they have made.

Rage pooled into the bottom of his stomach, his eyes only staring at the mess around and at the same time blinded with something else.

**_"THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T FOLLOW THE RULES"_ **

**_"THEY ARE TRYING TO OVERTHROW ME"_ **

**_"THIS IS ALICE DOING, THIS IS HER FAULT"_ **

-Oh, i am _terribly_ sorry dorm leader- the ~~PATHETIC~~ face of the student contorted into something close to fear. -It was only and accident, please do not cut off my head!! I was only trying to get the supplies as fast as possible to..uh.. the teacher!!

Riddle was so angry, he could see that this had not been any type of accident, this had been as intentional as everything but still there was this doubt. The students' expression of worry looked so false, but what if he was just trying to impose his feelings again, what if he was just trying to be the selfish baby he was again. When did it all became more and when was it deemed as less?

-It...-his gaze looked into one of the two students, he did not know what to do, what his friends expected him to do.- is okay, but you will have to clean in this instant your mess and inform the director of all the damage that you have done.

He was trying his best to change. He was trying to not be the mean King here.

A dangerous gleam glowed in the students' eyes as the exchanged a brief eye contact before apparently managing to look even more pale and worried.

-Please dorm head, we need to get this notice to the teacher! I beg you to spare us this one time, please!- and once again they were looking at him with that false look of worry. He was about to refuse, probably say something along the lines of "I will tell the teacher, keep your priorities straight" when once again the thought of the students' faces before he fell into the complete state of insanity overblot gave you. He remembered the fierce look in Ace Trappola's face, the worry just pasted in Trey's eyes, the look of utter dismay in Cater. Everything was so strong that the slight headache increased until he could feel his head pounding. What was he doing, when did he ever become so weak?! ~~Since he had let go of the rules.~~

-I... can deal with the damage first hand, you should go inform the director and the teacher in question immediately- Riddle finally relented, the headache ~~andforfuck'ssakearethoseVOICES?!~~ finally decided to try and kill him in place.

A apparently true smile took place in both of the students as they smiled, he had donde the right thing letting them get away even though they broke the rules?

Riddle sighed and decided that it would be better to assess the damage done before anything else, so he turned his back to the students who were already starting to walk away.

-I told you he was going to believe us, he has become such a total moron since his overblot "accident"

He stopped dead on his tracts, his eyes opening in realization as the words the student spoke filled his ears. 

_A MORON!?_

The headache came back with an unmerciful force almost making him fall.

-Still, he only became such a bland fool, no wonder everyone is so fucking done with him at this point.

They are taLKING a̸̡̡̨̘͈̺̲̥͔̹̝͎̤͈̰̻̭̮͔͎̓̏̈́̈́̌̏̾͒̆̈́̉̇̐̓̏̉̃̍̋͘͜͝͝s̴̨̞̜̩̠̪̳͚̣͔̭̠͔̙̩̭͚͎̤̮̩̪͙̃̿̋̆̏̏̾͒́̀̎̈́̒̓̆͑͝͠ͅ ̸̨̡̬͚̗̩̯̳̗͎̜̫͔̦̳̘̻͛̎̃̈́̎̄̎̊̇̍̈̅͜͝į̵̧̛̳̲̬͍̹̘̦̮͔̩͉͎͚̺̝̫̗̥͎̹̼̘̰̆͑͊͌̏̏̅͜͠f̵̭͓͙̠̠̰̪͔͓̖̯̗̦̬̭̤̠̞̩̱̞̩͙̝͍̟͛͜͜ͅ ̴̡̭̲̹̩͔̙̠͖̖̞̣̪̦̯̊̈́̍̋͝͠͝I̶̳̪̦̹̻̮͎̱̦̥̼̹͉̜͚̒͊̎̈́̿̑̿̇͐̓͆͑̋̋̓͋͐͗̕͠ ̴̨̢͖̞̟̼̹̯͙̞̪̞̭̙̰̻̞̦͙̹͓̰̱͎͓̼͔̋̒̎̊̊̾̅̒̎͊̎͗͌̑͂̔̔̉͌͑̚̚͜͝͝͝w̶̛̦̍͒̑̉̚͘a̴̢̢̡̢̢̛̩͎͙̯̮̲̘̝͉̘̰̝̦̱̦̟͐͂́̐̍̌̈́̔̂̂̇̏͋͆̕̚͝͝s̴̲̫͙̣͚͖͉̱͚͍͔̞̠̹̦̯̭̰̾̈́̀̽͐̈͂̿̈́̽̿̎́̀̈̏̇̑̌͐̌͘̚͝͝͝͝ ̴̨̡̛͈̤̹̟̦͇͈͔͇̥̱̺̮͈͓̪͙̂̈́̆͗̈̂͋̋͂̏̑͊͑͜͝ͅͅť̴̨̡̨̗̥̼̪̹̲͎̻̩̭̇̏͠ͅḩ̸̨̨͓̠̘͎̬̞̣̟͖͍̖̮̰̩̞͈͎̣̳̻͔̤̘̝̟͑̿̐͗̄͂̀͗̾ͅę̸̘̗̣̠̖̠̰̳̙͖͕̥͎̯͙̟͍̗̙͉̙̺̺̫͓̲̃̆̔́̀̈́̃͆͊̕͜͠͠ͅ ̵̧̨̨̛̛̳͉̜̞̯͔̠̦̙͍̮͎̼̠̥̂̔͂̃͌̔̑̉͂̌͌͂̈́͌̽͠͝͠͝F̷̲̳͙̲͕̰͍̮͕̙̳̣̲̓͊Ǫ̴͙̟̮͇͚̝̻̳̞̗͇̩̼̒Ơ̶̧̢̢̡̛̛̮̻̫̝̦̖̼̗̫͕͙͓̣̫̜͇̣̻̣̦̺̖̘̓͌̾̿̈́̈̐̔̽̅͗̓̚͜͝͝L̶̨͓̺̻͎͖͉̗̜̻͇̤̗̋̿

Ė̶̡̛̛͚̮̭̟̜̬͚̪̣͚̙̙̔͑̌̈́͒̈̈́͐̂̔̅̅̉̋̏̍̂̂̌̈͌̊̐̑̿͜͝V̷̡̢̨̧̛͙͕̩̝̙̥͇͖̪͙̰͈̯̮͔̙̝̮̂̈̓͐̈́̍̃̋̆͐̽͌̂̍ͅË̵̛̱̻̫̟̗̻̼́̄̾̈̔͑̅̇̇̏̍͠͝͝͝͠ͅN̴̨̧̮̣͎͖̦̺͉͍͎͕̤̪͉͈̣͚̤̹̝̤͉̾̂̋̊͋̀̍̎̇̂̓͊̃͒͐̕̚͜͠͠ ̸̧̡̛͙̹̜̥̣͎̜̞͉̬͔̻̖͈̰͕̤͎͕͑́̿͒̔̿͊̅̊̾̆̑Ţ̵̡̟̳͔̰̱͈̦̤͚͖̝͕̜̦̤̱͕͕͓̺̮̠͙͖͆̾̑̆͗̔͋̓̎͆̚͝͝ͅḦ̸̨̘̫̦͕̟̻̱̬̼̮̱̺̦̹̱͓̊̒̇̈́̀͘͜ͅO̶̢͇͎͔̥̲̮̭͓̙͖͈̤̫̻̦͔̥̮̪̘̤̻̟̩͍͂͌͗̌̔̓̀͐̈́͆̈́̏͆̐̐͘̚̕̚͜͠͝ͅŲ̸̰̲̣̳̩͒̊̾̍̋̽̆̓̋̑̋̈́͌͋͠͠G̴̢̛̞̟̱̭̯̦̹̱̞͕̲̝͎̬͎̲̺̩̮̀͑̓́͊̒̏̒̓̂̋́̽̅̏͊͗͂̍̍̅͘͝Ḩ̷̨̞̝͙̭͓͈͉͈͍̠̐͋̾̐ͅ ̷͓̎̉̐̅̔̾̎̆̅̏͒̾̓̔̊̋̐͑̊̇̅͒̈́͂ͅT̵̢̡̪͎͔̘͚̭͍͎̰͎̺̗̠̬͕̬̲̟͔͈͖̹͕̫̹̄̀͛̑͜͜͝Ḩ̷̧̧̥̗̯̖̩͙̥̫̣͙̙̬̬̤̦̪̞̟͈̖̖̰̈͊̎̔̋͑͘͜͜ͅĘ̶̞̭̟͓͉̰̠̞̝̱̝̤͖̬̻̱͕̞̪͛͌̀̈̇̇͑̿̈̊͂͜ͅͅY̵̧̧̨̗̻̫͎͕̘̣͊͑̀̔̋̈͂̋͆͌͑͐͆̍̂̅̕͘̚̕͝ ̵̨̯͓͚̓̾T̴̡̢̢̡̠̤̪̗̠̗̤̱͙̲͔͚̖͖̙͓͔͆̅̑̓̊̍͛͌̒̍̉̚͜R̶̛̛͔̯̒͛̄̉̔̆͌̾̒̋̈́͊̍͑͆̅̽͑͌͂̃̚͝͠͠I̸̧͖̦̬͉̟͙̻̼̙͉̟̙͓͑̐̈́̆͝͝ͅE̵̢̢̡̡̪̳͍̤̩̖̜̣̼̒̓̈́̓̈̄̓͛͜͜͝ͅD̷̛̮̯͊̊͛̈́̚ ̸̡̡̡͎̯̱̠̯͔̅̉̔͊̂́̕T̸̡̢̛̹̺̝̙̳͔̥͖̟͓̮͍͒̾̉̐͗͐͐̇̃̾̕O̸̯͓͂̉͊̓̇̽͂̊̈́́̊̇́͂͂̈̂͂̑̂̍̆̐́̚͝͠͝ ̸̧͇̤̟̻̘̝̝̝͕̫̠̻̲͖̩̫͈̖͎͊̐̓͗̿̊̉͆̎͗͆̔̅̈́̇̀͊̓̕̚͝͝P̴̨̡̪͇͇̙͖̘̠̘͈̟̺̦̤̜̼̳̻̙̖͕̖͐͌̂̔R̷̨͖̯̰͇͇̥̥̝̗̗̆̌̎̓̒̍͑̉̉̅̕O̶̢̧̘͙̣̥͎̻͉̣̺̻̙̹̼̮̜͈̻͇̰̫͗͋̋̈́́̇̀͆̀͒̚Ţ̴̡̡̥͔̝̳͉͉̻͎̹̣͚͙̱͉͍̱̠̼̳̞̼́̎͑̎̒̾̈́͊̎̕̚͝Ȩ̷̨̰̤̰̲̮̳̖̝̺͙̞̰̥̻́̎̈́̈́͌͑͜Ç̴̗̞̯͎̙̗̑͑T̶̢̟̥̜̆̋̅̈́ ̴̡̝͉͈͎̤͖͔̟̮̰̤̻͉̭̼̥̭̗̙̏͜͜ͅT̸̜̫̣̰͔̺̤̗̰̱͙̗̹̙̦͈̫̤̲̘̓̀̓͂̾́̄̒̈̈́͛̄̔̓̈́̈́̂̚͘̚͝͝͝͠͠Ḧ̶̛̥̣̩̬̼͕́̌̑̇̅͛̃͂͛͗̓̾̽̈́̄̔̚͠͠͠ͅE̷̟̪̻̭̖̞̤̮̙̤̳̱̗̫̹͌͋͌͜͜M̸̡̨̢͔̜̗͙̰͔̝̗̙̣̩͇̯̞̥̗̘̖̩̱̄͗

The strong feeling of hatred suddenly made him fall. It was once again as the time with the overblot, the Queen speaking to him, she only knew what the rules were for, and she was treated as damned crazy. She was the only one who understood and spoke to him in true words. He could feel his heartbeat skyrocketing as everything around him was suddenly becoming so infuriating. Was this how it felt? Going to overblot without using magic?

-Al **iCe** \- his voice sounded broken, even he could hear that. The **peasants** behind him stopped so suddenly that he felt such an elated feeling of joy that he almost felt sick. **It was better to be feared than to be loved at all.** **It hurt more to not know what he was supposed to be doing than just be living a lie.**

-D-Dorm head?- **w** hen **he** w **as s** c **ary he was res** pe **cted, th** e **rules established a system. Look at what happens when you don't do what the rules say.**

- **y0u s4Y i Am Th3 F0OL** \- His laughter was so dry, i hurt, it hurt more than the empty space that the rules left on his heart. The rules were what left him with some use, his heart aches when he decides to not follow them at all.


	2. The White Red Roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Queen of hearts comes back, Trey comes and finds the disaster and boy oh boy i did not plan this to have so much angst what is wrong with me-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because i apparently needed to make this into two chapters even though they are going to be published one after the other.  
> Also, if you read Red Queen it's just that i got confused between her and the Queen of hearts sorry.

It was a nice morning. It was something to see before, as every morning would usually start for him whenever a student enraged Riddle enough to lose their heads. Then he went and tried to make things at least a little bit better for them even though it usually went wrong because the other few hundred rules he didn't memorize.. (Still, how was he supposed to memorize such stu-...strict rules the Queen of hearts had once proclaimed.)

But since the... incident on the Unbirthday party his mornings have started to appear more normal (and probably stable enough that his mental state isn't deteriorating, but oh well) with them starting by usually Riddle knocking on the door, always full of papers to ask something. Sometimes they were related to the dorm in general and sometimes they were related to what he was supposed to do now. (He didn't like the look on Riddle's face whenever he asked about the rules. This was for ~~his~~ everyone's good.)

Trey was a little bit worried, that he could admit to himself, that in reality all of these change was being way too much (and for fuck's sake that **particular** pair of first years did not help at all) for Riddle. But even when he got enough courage to ask him about how he actually felt Riddle somehow always managed to get away from him. From direct confrontation to asking someone else to ask for him, somehow Riddle managed to escape one time after the other.

So Trey decided to be more than direct, he would leave Riddle no choice but to answer **truthfully** what he was asking him. And that was the reason he was now carrying a small pastry that Riddle would sure adore ~~and then he would attack~~ and that was probably the end of this very long monologue he made to himself.

Then he approached the dorm and oh lord did everything was suddenly so wrong.

Everything was covered in a dark aura, and he was sure as hell those were screams coming from the inside.

* * *

**The Queen of Hearts could be seen in the garden on the back, everything perfect and in control. This was what she was fighting for, an amazing land where everything was able to live in harmony even though people couldn't appreciate her efforts.**

* * *

Everything was pitch black, he felt as if he was drowning. His chest hurt and his face felt completely wet, and even more painfully his heart ached along with the drifting that sometimes happened. This feeling felt so familiar, but at the same time so distant. What even was this? How did he arrived here? What happened? Who? But even though all those questions screamed loudly in his mind he still kept still, something else taking control for once, something else who knew what he was supposed to finally do.

He felt so alone, the black liquid he was floating in only made him feel colder each passing second. Was it even a second? What was even the time in this? 

_Mama, I am scared_.

And he couldn't float, not anymore. So he only kept sinking and sinking no one being able to hear his cries or not even willing to help him for once. What was he meant to do now? 

**-¡Riddle!**

* * *

Riddle gasped as he suddenly was dragged out. The place where he was standing was a complete mess (or was it like that before?) and everything just **hurthurthurthurthurthurthurt**. Everything was cold, everything hurt and everything was just **too** much too much. 

He felt completely out of it, sometimes his vision flickering and everything was way too shiny for him to even be able to identify what was happening.

-Come on, again!?

-This is not the time, Ace!

He had gone again into a state of overblot. The Queen was once again the master of his own body… or was it? Everything just felt so much that it was no easy feat ignore the voices that just whispered into his ear.

Forget about what those peasants said, the rules you have respected had never made you felt this uncertain of doubtful before.

Everything would be just so easier if he could let go. Why was he even stopping for? Everything just hurt too much, everything was way too tiring, everything had become just too much and he just wanted to let go. WAs that selfish? Was there a rule about not resting? Was he supposed to respect that rule or not to? He always felt so stupid, he has his good days where he FEELS and KNOWS which are the rules that serve a good purpose, but this week had just been so stressful. People flinching left and right whenever he passes through with one of his increasing headaches. Was he really now a leader or was he still a tyrant? A puppet of a master? What was he?

-Come on Riddle, we have already been through this can you not be like this for a short while?!

-Ace, really?

They were playing in front of him, they were just toying with him. He was worthless for them, he was useless for them. He was no one and no one and he wanted somebody to know but who would care to know someone like him. But everything hurt, everything hurt, he just wanted to drift and die in a corner in his mind, where the pain wouldn’t get him. Where nothing would ever get him.

* * *

-It's not my fault that he is being such a baby, we already knew from the director that if everything went too much he would overblot again.

-Still, there is no need to act as such an asshole!

-For...! If someone is overblotted in front of you just don't continue fighting- Trey had finally arrived to where the dark aura had mostly concentrated. There he found an overblotted Riddle who seemed just so lost (which was very good, considering the fact that that mostly meant he was not too deep into it) and of course the I ~~MMATURE AND SO BABY-LIKE~~ pair of first years. And here he was thinking that life was actually fine for once.

-Oh yeah sorry!- and just like that their prior fighting was forgotten so easily and they finally decided to look at overblot Riddle ~~once again he had failed.~~

One eye was that color of blood red while the other was that muted and lost grayish blue. He was just floating there, at times snarling at them and at times just looking so lost. This was overblot induced mostly by feelings isn't this? Everything about it seemed wrong.

-For once listen to us, would you? - Trey adjusted his glasses trying to determine what to do.- We need to drag him out of it, this is not the same type of overblot and it is probably draining him more fast than before.

And so they fought. Riddle attacking with and without sense equally, the three of them trying to avoid damaging most of the interior because money isn't created directly from trees. And finally Riddle fell. Riddle, the normal Riddle who couldn't muster the courage or even the compassion within his soul for himself.

And that same Riddle wasn't breathing


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sinking, and more into trying to make sense of overblot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ye warning i guess there is vomit and sad feels but like not relatable sad feels i guess.

The cold he felt was so unnatural it just made him uneasy. It was like he was suddenly thrown into a void and was slowly sinking in, slowly taking in the cold of the wind and the loneliness of falling. Riddle couldn't remember that much, everything just seemed so foggy, and he felt so tired. But he could just go to sleep, right? He could just go to sleep if he was feeling that tired.

But no matter how tired he felt sleep was so close and yet Riddle could only push it away. Why was he doing that? He was tired, he could go to sleep, Mother doesn't like when he stays awake when it is dark. He felt repulsion and confusion. Mother. _Mother._ It felt so wrong, but why?

**You are just tired little one, wouldn't it be good to go to sleep?**

That was weird, he couldn't see anyone yet a voice was talking. IT sounded familiar, his heart beating slightly more when he heard it. 

_Who even are you? What am i?_

He tried to voice his worries, but it sounded like a faraway echo. 

**You are sinking, doesn't it feel good?**

He didn't know. he felt tired but at the same time just drowning and falling continuously here without a single light seemed so...scary. Riddle did not understand, he did not understand why was he so conflicted. He wanted to drown but live just so everything would stop- everyone would just slow down a beat and explain to him what is going on. 

_Why am i this tired?_

His thoughts were words, they sounded meaningless and boring to his ears. Nobody cares that he is tired, nobody cares that he doesn't know what is happening, nobody know and he shouldn't care. All of it was confusing and oh so tiring.

**Yes child, go to rest, the Queen of Hearts will take care of everything.**

_...The Queen of Hearts?_

That did not sounded right, but his mind was foggy and he was just getting more cold. The Queen of Hearts... the rules of the Queen of Hearts Mother told him to learn. She was right, he was thrown into Heartslabyul. She was right, he had become dorm leader. Then second year came, and new first years, and overblot, and oh my god what the bloody hell happened he was Riddle Rosehearts how had he even forgotten?!

**You remembered. It is useless now. I will come back later, i will always be with you because you are that weak. You will live and the moment you snap, i will make sure e v e r y t h i n g that has hurt you will pay. That was our laws.**

And suddenly he wasn't sinking into cold oblivion. Suddenly words started to ring in his ears, making him whatever he had eaten before he...overblotted again? Damn he was truly falling.

_-He should be able to wake up on his own._

Suddenly he was no longer sinking in darkness but falling down in a white space, something similar to air caressing him but at the same time not making him any warmer.

_-I cannot believe he almost died._

Suddenly he went through a cloud, passing through it with ease, but still making him cough.

_-Uh?! W-What?!_

His throat felt bland, but also rough as he fell. And suddenly he saw the large towers on Night Raven College, the seven statues. And even then he continued falling.

 _I don't want to die yet._ He realized, tears prickling his eyes. _I want to eat with everyone more cake, i want to play again with Trey and Chenya._

-Oh shit, shit, shit, come on Riddle-!

The light that hit his eyes hurt, and everything about him hurt. But he felt his heart beating, and that was enough. He tried gasping from air, ignoring the extremely loud voice beside him, but without a warning he was vomiting something **~~black sludge oh my god what the bloody hell is that~~** , hid lungs screamed that he was a fucking idiot for not being able to breathe. But even though he was possibly dying a little bit more than what is healthy he felt fine (of course only in his subconscious mind because damn boy he is puking his heart out). He was alive, he still had a beating heart. And soon tears mixed with the black sludge mixed together. But that was fine, he still had time to make it better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I now shall wonder in infinite confusion where does the high marking in Chenya goes.  
> This feels so OOC and horrible but i love it because i just be here dying and want to express with words when i cannot even explain it to myself in thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe final, maybe not, who knows because i certainly don't.

Oh yeah, remember how he had been just so naive and thought that he was alive, well change of plans this was way more horrible than death. To explain the roots of all his suffering and the reason Cater Diamond is "discretely" pulling him into bed so he just doesn't grab scissors and murders everyone, I guess i will have to explain the situation a little bit better. Such a shame, really.

Remember that part where Riddle was basically vomiting some petrol but it wasn't petrol, yeah there was a point where i was supposed to mention that Trey Clover (you know, hot beff smart green guy) was there guarding Riddle and making sure he didn't die. Well, since apparently our abilities as narrator did not improved at all it would be better to tell the story exactly after Riddle said that everything was fine (nothing was fine but oh well).

* * *

Riddle looked at the mass of dark sludge in the floor beside him with ~~fear u coward~~ as much curiosity he could allow himself to feel. After a few moments he had stopped trying to cough a lung out ~~but it still hurt like a bitch~~ and at least he felt slightly more stable, in a way.

-Riddle?- a voice beside him startled him and quickly caught his attention. Trey was there. **Trey was there**. He felt such a rush of happiness he even felt dizzy. **Someone was there**.

_**'Trey?'**_ He tried to talk but he could only say a bunch of noises and broken sounds. Damn, something big happened definitely ~~as if the pain did not told him that.~~

-Oh god, at least you are conscious now- Trey sighed in relief throwing himself on the chair beside his bed. -You have no idea how terrifying everything was.

**_'What happened?'_** He tried again like the utter fool he was, but of course throat damage exist and then he just lamented his existence.

-You overblotted... again- Trey sounded annoyed, that wasn't too good, but even though he still gave him a glass of water... that doesn't mean anything though.- I thought you had promised to talk about your feelings Riddle!- He was raising his voice... Riddle looked away, the blurry memories of whatever that thing was ~~don't pretend you moron, you knew perfectly what that was and you still followed it~~ still fresh on his mind.- Do you even know you stopped BREATHING for-for FUCKS SAKE?!- Oh god he was swearing, oh shit he was swearing, oh god now **he** was also swearing.

-Hey Trey?- Another voice popped in. _Cater_ his brain provided despite the growing headache.- Oh god, Riddle you are awake!

Riddle looked at Cater for a little bit, his ears slightly red on the tips and his eyes darting away. Why was he so ashamed suddenly? ~~He surely wasn't ashamed when he tried murdering them.~~

-Cater...- Trey sighed, trying to lower the headache that tried to murder him alive right now. Riddle put the empty glass besides him.

-...How...- a pause. Damn he wouldn't be able to talk normally for a while-...much?

-You were unconscious for 3 days. We did called your mother, but apparently she isn't that happy with anyone right now.- A sharp stab in the heart, that was what overwhelmed Riddle. He hadn't worried about what his mother might have thought, he hadn't even planned what he was going to say to her now. he had gone to talk to her, to make him understand and now he overblot again and she did not even cared?

-Riddle...- He was thrown back to reality by the slight shake. Oh no he was crying again. Trying desperately to dry the tears he felt a soft hug from behind.

-Hey Riddle, it's okey, you know you still have us, right?- Riddle nodded, but of course the tears didn't stop. ~~Sometimes he wondered if they ever did.~~

-Besides, you are here now and you can always come to my home on holidays, you know everyone there would love to take you in.

Again Riddle nodded finally giving in and stopped trying to dry his tears and letting Cater hug him. When did he turned so weak?

And then Ace Trappola and Deuce Spade decided to help his increasing headache (like seriously why does crying make u sad like wtf i am already sad don't help).

-Hey Trey-senpai!- Ace came in screaming as if his fu- his dorm head wasn't there.

-Ace, can you use your brain and remember the existence of inner voice?- Deuce was by his side ~~like always,~~ maybe trying to help but in reality he wasn't any different.

-Maybe me being loud helps wake up the dorm leader you know how he always popped up whenever i was doing something wrong.

-...L...Lies- Riddle whispered and then immediately regretted it as the duo of first years decided to scream for their lives.

-H-Hey guys, remember inner voice?- Cater smiled nervously feeling the angry glare Riddle was directing to the pair of guys. 

-H-Hey dorm head!- Shouted Ace, apparently not **even considering his life worth something**.- Fancy seeing you awake dorm head!

Riddle tried to say something but he immediately started coughing a lung out. Cater tried to help him not drown but of course Ace started shouting and then Deuce started shouting for him to shut up and then his headache got worse. And everyone just **shut the fuck up-**

* * *

And that was basically how we arrived to the situation we previously described. It was truly a show, wasn't it? Of course that Roseheart did not felt that happy afterwards, but at the moment i bet he was ready to commit a murder scene right then and there.

Sometimes i do wonder what his mother was thinking, after all his son was becoming even more famous and had plenty of important connections, such a shame she couldn't do that.

Oh? You wonder what happened to her? Well, that is a story that doesn't correspond me, but i am sure you can imagine a wonderful end for her. But fret not, for i am merciful and of course made sure young Roseheart won't use any magic in the short while.

Such a happy end, right?

.

.

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**The Queen of Hearts**

**Lurk in his shadow**

**Waiting for the second**

**The cleave breaks his vein**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't actually remember writing much of this (?) but the end is fine and it is gud and idk whatever like and subscribe, or something idk.


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